clown car

Last night I gave 4 people from the bar a ride home at bar closing.  All of them were too drunk to dive, and I really really had to work to convince each one of them that getting a ride (instead of driving) was the right choice.  The first lady showed up at the bar at about noon, drank for the entire afternoon, and into the night.  She told me at least three times (in about an hour and a half) that this one would be her last drink, then I should kick her out.  So with each drink she ordered I reminded her that the last one was going to be the last.  Each time she told me that the new one would be the last.  Anyway, she was way over the limit, so I offered her a ride.  She said that she would be fine to dirve.  So finally I told her I would only serve her if she agreed to take the ride.  Seriously, she had been drinking for about 14 hours!  The next bar patrons were a couple that needed to get a ride.  It was about 1 am and they had been trying to leave for about 3 hours.  They could not leave because new people would come in and want to chat, and they were just having a good time.  So I offered them a ride too, I figured that I was already taking 1 why not add two more?  So these two did not want to get a ride either.  The man thought it was a good idea to sleep in the basement of the bar on a cot.  The basement is just gross, cold and filled with spiders.  It took some work to convince both of them that it was not a big deal to just get into my car and sleep at home.  The last guy actually did not need a ride, he just wanted to come along and enjoy the entertainment.  It took me about twenty minutes to get them all into my car, then about another hour to get them all home.  It was quite a ride with all of them squished in the back giving me driving instructions, trying to tell me where each of them lived.  They were debating which one should be dropped off first, and which roads I should take.  The entire nite was quite entertaining, but I did not enjoy getting home at 3:30 in the morning.  I was glad that I was able to get them home safely.